Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I miss my boy already

Are you sitting. You should sit. Well maybe not, but I had to sit when it hit me. I would like to live with Ben. He just left and now I want him back. Now! It was so good having him for two plus weeks. We had a quasi-fight about my space and his space versus our space some time around week two. We also ran into some issues with Emily. She was relatively hot and cold towards Ben, which was surprising. I had a chat with her and she told me the she just does not like him. It is okay with her that I like him and okay that he likes me, but she doesn't like him and can we go play with a toy now? There were these moments, though, where things just clicked so well. When we would all have tickle fights or Ben and I would marvel over Emily's progress with puzzles and problem solving. There was a lot of good cooking and some family time on both ends. I expected to be glad to be rid of him after such a long span (the longest for us yet), but am surprised to find otherwise. Shall I be cliche and say I'm ready for the next level? The rub is that there really isn't a next level for us. He'll finish in DC come December and pack off to Virginia Beach. There will only be six months to a year there before a big question mark. Honestly, he wants to go to Europe. Honestly, I want to go to Europe. Feasibly? A big fat negative. So this leaves me with trying to be happy with what I have now and worry about tomorrow when it gets here. Currently, I am not too frustrated with the idea of a wait. After all, I am still in a position from which I need saving so I need a little time to figure out how to save myself. Maybe then, more with will feasible. Thoughts? Questions? Advice? Anybody?

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