Monday, July 30, 2007

Mile 0

When driving to Dallas one reaches the marker for Mile 0. I have no clue why this strikes me. It seems so final somehow. Weird. Drive time makes for a lot of time to think. I have a lot to think about so this rather works out for me. The most recent crisis: to move or not to move. I would love to be out of BCS. I'm rather scared and my recent revelation is that I'll keep finding excuses to stay here, where I am safe but unhappy. Jesse's possible promotion would be good for all of us. Have I mentioned how dearly I'd like to live closer to Ben? There are all these pros and cons to moving and a like amount of pros and cons to staying. All the considering makes it hard to breathe. Ben is such a sweetheart in trying to keep my focus where it needs to be and minimize all that dwelling I do. When I fall apart he reminds me that I'm trying to make plans by gazing into a crystal ball and a cloudy one at that. I'm doing the best I can. Thanks, Ben. By Mile 0 I had decided to go ahead with all of my resume revising and job applications. I'll apply in Dallas, TX (the safe choice), Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, and Delaware. I had an excellent time in Dallas. I still really love it there. Sarah is nothing short of a doll. We giggled over the stupidest stuff. Girls are ridiculous when in packs and I wouldn't have it any other way. If Dallas is the choice this is the girl I will live with. She took me on my maiden voyage to IKEA. I...LOVE...IKEA! It was an hour and a half of excited shopping bliss. I spent $11.60. I almost died trying to not spend anything so I gave in a little. Then I had to come home. I had an interesting experience at Starbucks when a good looking man walked by and told me I was beautiful without stopping. Driving into BCS was the most depressing homecoming ever. After the sparkling clean area surrounding Sarah's apartment and the route out of the metroplex, Bryan looked dingy and smelled like old wash water. Everything seemed small and dated. Perhaps I've become a snob. Maybe I always have been. I wish I could be back at Mile 0.

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