Why doesn't she know?

I've had a lot of things on my mind lately, Internet, but one in particular is just killing me. It keeps coming to the front of my thought jumble because I hear this song almost everyday, sometimes more than once.

It isn't the song itself - I rather like it.  The One Direction boys sing well together, the tune is catchy, the song is appropriate for my Emily to listen, etc. My problem is with this set of lyrics:

You don't know you're beautiful
Oh oh
That what makes you beautiful

Especially since they are immediately proceeded by these lyrics:

 Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know
Oh oh
You don't know you're beautiful

So apparently, a girl is most beautiful when she doesn't know (or doesn't seem like she knows) she's a looker, so a big-deal band made of cutie boys wrote a song to spread the word and it has left them confused as to why a pretty girl doesn't know that she's a pretty girl.

Why? Why is this:

Product shot from Unique Vintage. Click on image for details.

 any more attractive than this?

Product shot from Gown Me. Click on image for details.

 Yes, these are product shots, and, yes, both women probably had a team (or several) making them look perfect. But look beyond that.

As far back as middle school I was encouraged to never leave the house without Doing my hair, putting on makeup, and dressing nicely.  It took me at least an hour to get ready every day. I was usually pleased with the results, though.

Then 

I'd get to school or the movies or whatever and be required to downplay all my hard work by deflecting compliments and/or heaping flattery on another girl. If not, I risked being labeled as conceited or stuck up. I doubt much has changed in most social circles from middle school to middle aged.

I blame songs like "You don't know your beautiful" (One Direction was, by no means, the first group to sing the praises of the pretty, humble girl).  And movies, TV, magazine, books about charm from the 1950s... 

So I say
Hey, here is me.

   
Most days, I pick out some cute clothes, put on make-up, and do my hair.  When I look in the mirror, I know I look good. AND THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE! I am pretty. Not perfect, but pretty. Does that make me better than other people? No. Nor does that mean I need to deflect compliments so I don't seem full of myself. I can smile and say "thank you!"

I'm asking you, begging you, to do the same. If you feel beautiful thank other people for noticing. Its a small change, but I think it will make a world of difference. 

Wear it and Work it, a Photo Montage

I think we can all agree that there is a lot of choices out there when it comes to fashion, for better or worse. You all know my thoughts on tights as pants. But, so you know, there's a difference between inappropriate or slovenly and stuff that I just don't care to wear.  There are plenty of people out there owning their particular look and I love that!  So today, I put together a little photo montage ladies rocking looks I love and looks I don't.

One is never too young for a classic LBD ensemble. Via La Dolce Vita.

This is my cousin, Tiffany.  She is at such ease in anything she puts on that every outfit look she dons looks rockin-fabulous. This chick has mad style. Check it.

Yup, that's my girl. modeling, modeling, and chilling on a boat (not modeling but still modeling, you know?). Oh, and did I mention she sells some of that style? She does. So go get you some.

Vintage, bold, glam via Keiko Lynn

Emily in 2007, blissfully proud of the way this bathing suit shows off her belly.

Suzannah playfully All-American in her Yellow Wedges and DIY lighthouse-print dress.

Fabulous without threads. Fashionable starts with those smiles. Via A Study of Feminine Beauty.

Lookin' for a man

It has been over a month since I got back from my mini vacay to Charleston and I have yet to tell you anything about it!  Believe you me, there is a lot to tell. The weather was gorgeous, the buildings were gorgeous, the fashion exhibit was divinely gorgeous...and I'll get to all that.

First, I want to show you my absolute favorite find.  I know it is traditional to save the best for last, but I cannot keep this baby to myself any longer.  On our second day, while wandering about searching for antiques, Ben and I stumbled upon an interior design studio.  It isn't normally open to the public, but on that particular day, the owner was there doing inventory so he let us poke around! Of course I failed to get the name of the place...

I digress.

Inside this jam packed shop of marvelous things was THIS!

Man in a Dress

I love it. LOVE it! I named him Humphrey and I want to make him my very own.

He would live in my family room as a reminder that we should all feel this good about ourselves, social conventions be damned! 

Alas, he would have set me back $1600 and Ben couldn't really muster the same level of affection for our pretty little man. I was actually so befuddled by the price that we made a hasty exit without asking for more information. I've been looking ever since, but so far, I've only turned up one other such painting.

via Baby in the Belly's Blog

If you know anything about this baby pretty please let me know. As for me, I want to know what offbeat art makes you happy so put that comment section to good use!

Be the change

This is a snapshot of me:

I am a dress size 0 to 2. I stand five feet, two inches tall. You might say I'm pretty. I've also been told I'm smart and funny. I have a beautiful, smart husband and am raising a beautiful, smart daughter. Two years ago I began the launch of my own business. Some folks might say I'm doing pretty good in this world.

BUT

I wish I was thinner and taller.  I wish my hair were naturally red. I think I'm pretty dumb and I know I'm naive. I have a beautiful, smart family that I constantly worry will see I am not good enough for them and then leave me. I am not as successful as I'd like to be and I'm fairly certain it's because I don't work hard enough.

fffffound via Pinterest

I have a point here.

I get a lot of compliments from friends, family, and strangers.  I also have a lot of support from friends, family, and strangers. But I still do not think I am good enough or pretty enough.

Why?

Well, I'm still trying to figure that out. (Luckily, my insurance covers therapy.) Basically, though, I'm on a journey. Not only am I trying to change my perception of myself, I'm also trying to change how I see other people. For example, when I see overweight people sporting revealing swimwear at the beach part of me thinks,

"Yeah! Love yourself just the way you are! Wear that skimpy bathing suit if it makes you feel good!"

but another part of me screams,

"Put it away! Put it away!"

 

Because I don't even know what beautiful is or what it is supposed to be! So yeah, I'm on a journey. Part of that journey includes my brand, Never a Plain Jane Designs.

Never a Plain Jane Designs on Etsy

Like me, NPJ is evolving. See, I was doing it all wrong.  I thought I'd start by appealing to (offbeat) brides because garters are already present in the wedding industry, and then I'd move into other markets. I do want brides to wear one of my very special creations on those most important days.

But really, I want to start with you. Yeah, you.  I want to make you a garter that reminds you of who you are or who you strive to be.

A reminder that you  you are strong when you feel weak.

Even though you haven't had time to shower today, you have smushed peas in your hair, and no makeup on, I want you to be wearing something that makes you feel like a sexy beast.

I want you to be able to put on a physical representation of your mental armor.

Or...

Take a day to play around with your image. If you wear an edgy/demure/vintage/punk garter under your "normal" clothes will you feel differently?

Will you act differently?

Will people treat you differently because there is just something different about you?

And how do you feel about all that? Because if it feels good it might be time to take that secret image and wear it on the outside. Sometimes we just want to take "different" for a test drive without sharing it with the world because it is important to know how something makes you feel before we open it up to commentary from the rest of the world.

I want to give you that. Everyday.

Embrace Messy Hair

I don't know about you, but I am loving the bride's tousled braid in this Irish-styled wedding shoot from photographer Lucas VanDyke Photography.

via Green Wedding Shoes, twine hair accessory by Tasteful Tatters, hair by Betsey DiFrancesca

I realize this is a shoot and not a real wedding, I really love it when brides choose to rock their natural style on this special day.

via Green Wedding Shoes, bouquet and flower hairpiece by Diane Roehr Floral Design

I mean, it must be so weird for the groom when he looks down the aisle to see some altered version of his fiance coming toward him. I know you want to look good, but seriously, you're getting married to someone who loves you for who you are and the way you look every day.

via Green Wedding Shoes, boutonniere by Diane Roehr Floral Design

Also, how gorgeous is that red hair! There's just no reason to tame locks like that!

What do you think - coiffed or characteristic hair for your wedding day?

Head over to Green Wedding Shoes for more sun-soaked photos of this sweet couple.

I tried to give credit where it was due, but to be safe:
photographer: Lukas VanDyke Photography // bouquet, boutonnieres, + flower hair piece // Diane Roehr Floral Designs // twine hair accessory // Tasteful Tatters // makeup artist: Beautiful Faces By Denise // hair artist: Betsy DiFrancesca // our sweet married couple: Josh + Meghan

Update: I love it when you leave comments here, but I also created a poll (my first ever) on my Facebook page! Won't you come over and play?

Recovery and Naval Gazing

Whew! I am worn out after my brief whirl through Philadelphia for The Art of Earning Live. It was a crazy, mixed up, amazing, ridiculous time, and I'm still trying to sort it all out.  In fact, I'm busy reflecting upon and sorting out all kinds of things related to the why and what of my business so what better time for a little personal reflection as well.  Leave it to my favorite Amy girl to give me the perfect platform.

I've been tagged by my dear friend, Amy over at Botanical Brouhaha! Now, I never have been very good at Tag, but I think this is a game I can handle.

Here are the rules:

1) You must post the rules.

2) Answer eleven questions.

3) Tag eleven other bloggers.

4) Ask them 11 new questions.

Here's what Amy wanted to know:

1. Who would you say has had the most influence on your life?

My husband, Ben.  That guy is so cool butter wouldn't melt in his mouth! He has many amazing qualities I hope to someday possess, so I look to him as a role model. Of course, that's all well and good, but even more importantly, Ben thinks I'm smart,sexy, funny, kind, and talented. He often pushes me to do something because I think I want to do it not because he thinks I should do it. In a weird way, Ben influences me to be the most me I can.

heart-to-heart

Thanks to the Etsy favorites feature, I have hearts, you have hearts, we all have hearts! Here, we’ll hop from heart-to-heart each week, progressively adding to our heart trail as we follow the favorites from one seller to the next.

Earlier this month, when I sent you to rake your leaves, I paused  at

...OfTheFountain {Custom Leather Luggage Tags} who hearts

...feltess {Felted Snails Cake Topper} who hearts

...julie and co. {Decorative Ball} who hearts

...ABCS4U {Apple Green Beaker Spice Rack} who hearts

...PegandAwl {Chalkboard Tablets} who hearts

...FIGandYARROW {Basil Cardamom Lip Balm} who hearts

...sorry kids, turkey and naps in Texas before we pick up the trail again.

For every girl, a garter

"There’s something beautiful in showing off things that are meant to be on the inside or underneath.

"A sliver of silk or a frill of lace peeking out from under a skirt, a satin strap slipping off the shoulder, it all suggests the possibility of being undressed, of another layer, and of intimacy.

 "Whether it be emotions, secrets, skin, fears, or a garter, the act of displaying what is meant to be intimate is seductive and decidedly feminine. It’s powerful, inviting, flirtatious, and delicate. In our dress, the effect ranges from daring to innocent to modest. {The last being a sign of the times in the fact that so many women skip the garters or slips.}

"In the home, taking something lovely that is usually kept in the closet or lingerie chest and placing it on the wall or by the window for all to see gives a room a playful, whimsical effect.

"And, in our relationships, the result can be devastatingly beautiful and empowering."

Words by Ms. Jenn at Bits of Beauty. For photo details please click on each image.