Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Why doesn't she know?

I've had a lot of things on my mind lately, Internet, but one in particular is just killing me. It keeps coming to the front of my thought jumble because I hear this song almost everyday, sometimes more than once.

It isn't the song itself - I rather like it.  The One Direction boys sing well together, the tune is catchy, the song is appropriate for my Emily to listen, etc. My problem is with this set of lyrics:

You don't know you're beautiful
Oh oh
That what makes you beautiful

Especially since they are immediately proceeded by these lyrics:

 Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know
Oh oh
You don't know you're beautiful

So apparently, a girl is most beautiful when she doesn't know (or doesn't seem like she knows) she's a looker, so a big-deal band made of cutie boys wrote a song to spread the word and it has left them confused as to why a pretty girl doesn't know that she's a pretty girl.

Why? Why is this:

Product shot from Unique Vintage. Click on image for details.
 any more attractive than this?

Product shot from Gown Me. Click on image for details.
 Yes, these are product shots, and, yes, both women probably had a team (or several) making them look perfect. But look beyond that.

As far back as middle school I was encouraged to never leave the house without Doing my hair, putting on makeup, and dressing nicely.  It took me at least an hour to get ready every day. I was usually pleased with the results, though.

I'd get to school or the movies or whatever and be required to downplay all my hard work by deflecting compliments and/or heaping flattery on another girl. If not, I risked being labeled as conceited or stuck up. I doubt much has changed in most social circles from middle school to middle aged.

I blame songs like "You don't know your beautiful" (One Direction was, by no means, the first group to sing the praises of the pretty, humble girl).  And movies, TV, magazine, books about charm from the 1950s... 

So I say
Hey, here is me.

Most days, I pick out some cute clothes, put on make-up, and do my hair.  When I look in the mirror, I know I look good. AND THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE! I am pretty. Not perfect, but pretty. Does that make me better than other people? No. Nor does that mean I need to deflect compliments so I don't seem full of myself. I can smile and say "thank you!"

I'm asking you, begging you, to do the same. If you feel beautiful thank other people for noticing. Its a small change, but I think it will make a world of difference. 


leonie fanning said...

Oh Im so intrigued by your post being Irish we just can't take compliments so after reading what u have said Im going to try. Im always tryin to improve the way i look maybe i should just except it and be happy u would think at 42 id have worked that out. Great post and u do look very pretty big kiss from Dublin xx Leo.

Janice Bear said...

Oh my gosh, Leo, thanks for your kind words! I checked you -er, your blog- you, and you are quite the looker so accept it, already! But don't feel like you have to stop playing with fashion, new looks, and fun beauty finds. In fact, keep on "trying to improve" and simply thank people for noticing your great fashions sense, good taste, and lovely smile. Cheers, J-