The House Hunt (part one)

You know how in novels and Hallmark Channel movies and every advertisement for a Pottery Barn registry some cute newlywed couple moves into a sweet starter home with a charming breakfast nook and wrap-around front porch? Well, its all crap. Looking for a new home is harrrrrd. Especially one in a town far, far away.

In one month the family will be relocating to Tampa, Florida so find a house we must. Since I don't conveniently have a husband already living in the area to find me a nice house a trip had to be made. A 14-hour car trip. A 14-hour car trip followed by so. much. work.

For example, the real estate ad promised us a "fabulous 40s bungalow" with "real wood floors...arches, fully equipped newer kitchen, newer master suite with recently redone tile and flooring, one car garage, full size washer/dryer, screened in patio, backyard deck. WILL NOT LAST."


And that ad made it look totally okay:

But do you what actually greeted us at 9:30 Friday morning?

Do you want to walk into that eager-to-behead-you garage?  It contains the advertised washer and dryer from the LAND TIME FORGOT. How about those recently redone floors? The "newer" tile?  Doesn't it all make your heart go pitter-patter with first home glee? No? Internet, it was just so disheartening.  The white-tiled everything in the kitchen was surrounded by black mildew-caulk. The arched doorways were actually square-ish doorways with bowing frames. Believe me, this house is not going anywhere. I honestly wish it were for sale.  Perhaps that is the worst part.  That sad little house felt like it could really be "fabulous" with the right owners at the helm.  But we are not looking to buy and we cannot live in that house.

In fact, we'd have to wait a whole day before we would be able to see anything we could live in...